A Blog about PTSD, and Mental Health, with a bit of poetry sprinkled in along the way.
She listens with more than her ears.
The light from her soul
and the joy in her heart
illuminate the world around her.
Silently saying a prayer
she feels the comfortable beat of her heart
as she flows to the music within.
©Alexis Rose, image source: Pixabay
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
Buried
feeling as if I’m suffocating
thinking that it’s just a season
it’s long, it’s hard
but time-limited, like the seasons.
On guard from the howling, swirling wind
sounding like echos of the past
sinister laughs
then silence
dark, deep silence.
It could be worse
It’s only weather…weather the storm
I’ll forget the destruction
bury it deep, make it smaller
Until I discover it wasn’t
a storm that passed
it was me!
Invisible to the pain
the ruination of a person
a body, mind, soul
a girl, a woman
who wasn’t allowed to own her body.
Anxious, panicked
crying to myself, and asking
What do I do?
Why won’t this go away?
Why must the skeleton hands of the past
grab me and keep trying to pull me down?
Suddenly; it’s quiet
a lull in the blizzard winds
a pause in the crackling trees.
Looking down I see
bits of green making their way
through the snow.
The crocus and tulips
know to bloom again
they are determined to ignore
the storms, the cold, the wind
It is their purpose to bloom and grow.
I realize that I can take this lesson from the flowers.
I can persevere and grow
to speak, and speak again
to feel
to heal
to breathe in the gift, this gift of hope
hope from the flowers.
©Alexis Rose, image: Pixabay
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
The whispers playing off the breeze
entice us to look closer
at the bouquet of color
rising up from winter’s cool hands
We catch our breath
and like water rushing
around the rocks
we ease into spring
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
©Alexis Rose, image source: Pinterest
I packed my bag of insecurities
and sent it floating down the river
I watched it hit the rocks
and get caught up in the swirling current
clinging; begging to stay
for just one more day
one more week
a few more years
I gently called to the baggage
“let go, move with the current
find open water
and be free”
My insecurities
have served their purpose
keeping me cocooned
in a place of quiet and fear
Until the day
I began to practice
setting boundaries
and showing my strength to others
instead of silently resisting
the fear of being alone
Then came the day
when I trusted; I knew
that I could take
those insecurities
those fears of saying, “no”
and send them down the river
I started with a few silent
notes on the current
until I grew stronger
Today with feet firmly
rooted on the ground
I packed those insecurities and thanked them
for all the ways they protected me
and brought them to the river
With an open heart, I watched as my baggage
let go of that last craggy branch
and floated gently on the current
to the open sea
I may run into that baggage again
as I move with the current of life
We’ll have a chat
and then just as old friends do
who live on different and distant shores
we’ll bid each other farewell
until we meet again
©Alexis Rose, Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
Do you see me?
Yes, yes I see you. You are a beautiful light!
I feel like I’m invisible, I want to be invisible
I see you. You are worthy of being seen, being heard!
The injury of a frayed, and tattered soul, repaired
by being seen, being heard and loved.
Reminded and mirrored
that the truth of who
you are at your core
has always been there
it just needed acknowledgment
and tender loving care.
Do I have to stay strong? Do I have to stay silent?
Your strength is in speaking your truth!
Will, it ever get better, will the pain stop?
It does get better, the pain changes. It ebbs and flows!
The pain and suffering
eased by a witness who
listens with respect
with belief, sadness, and anger
at the injustice of what had been.
Learning to trust that your
frayed and tattered soul
is safe, and it’s okay to mend.
To cease inserting that second arrow.
Is it okay to ask for help?
Yes, it’s important to ask for help. You’re important!
Will I be okay?
Yes, you will be okay…you Are okay!
With compassion, tenderly nurture
your present and future self.
Connect and attach
begin to feel whole.
Breathe…rest in it as long as you can.
Let yourself be one.
Exhale, knowing that injuries heal
frayed edges become softer, and the light will begin to shine through.
As I drive away, I spend the day thinking, that one of the most important gifts we can give another person is to be their mirror.
To understand that to be a mirror for someone is not just a concept, but that sometimes a person’s reflection is non-existent. That sometimes our own reflections may be non-existent.
It is a true gift to be able to say to another person, “I see you, I hear you, you deserve to be here, you matter!”
Photo by Jovis Aloor on Unsplash
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
When we get-together
and our first thought
is to give each other big-smushy hugs
because we are filled with the gratitude of friendship
it feels like the down of a favorite comforter.
Both of us present, talking authentically
about the stuff that matters
as the server quietly takes our plates.
Shoulders relaxed
we both exhale fully. We breathe…because
it’s safe
we get each other without judgment
total acceptance of who we each are.
When the tears well up in our eyes
and sometimes spill over because of life’s pain
or life’s happiness
it’s met with
open-heartedness and sweet empathy.
When the fear or suffering of illness
for ourselves or loved ones
comes sneaking into our lives
rest assured dear friend
that we are walking together, holding hands
on our sometimes dusty paths.
©Alexis Rose, image source: Pixabay
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
I believe the moon holds the secrets
of the trees whispering in the night
When I was younger
I knew it held
wishes and dreams, terror and screams
At times I’d look away
when reminded that its fullness
provided excuses for others to inflict pain
As if that rock in the sky
could provide permission; proclaim an edict
that on these nights as the season’s turn…
Then I learned that if it held the secrets in the night
It also held the truth
It’s deep craters holding the truth
safe and protected
Today when I heard the pull of the tides
and felt the expansion of emotions
I looked up at the big rock in the sky
and said
the moon is just the moon, and it is beautiful!
©Alexis Rose, photographer: Shelley Bauer from the collaboration: Of Earth and Sky
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
