You can swarm my dreams
You can mimic those long ago days
by the sound of the wind.
The calendar can read the same date
making me look over my shoulder
in shades of black and white.
Year after Year
you can remind me that I never
received the memo that it’s over.
That I was released from twenty years of tyranny.
Go ahead and remind me that I’m still waiting.
That all the IQ points don’t matter
when it comes to stored fear in the body.
You hold me in a grip of fear for Now? Then? When?
You make me want to crawl out of
this anxiety-ridden body and mind
and watch it crumple on the floor.
Fighting the messages, programming designed
to keep the illness safely tucked in the cells
of my body and mind.
Alert, ready for the next time.
You’ll have your way with me.
You’ll make my life uncomfortable
for days and weeks at a time.
Pawing at, and choking as the skeleton hands of the past rise up;
Those bony cold hands gripping tight around my neck.
You make me question all reality
You, you nasty PTSD
You try, and sometimes succeed
at chipping away at my health for days and weeks at a time
leaving me wobbly, unsteady, and questioning.
But
As I’ve told you before, I’m telling you again
with the same resolve as the fiercest warrior
“Go ahead and try to swallow me, you nasty PTSD
I will never go down without a fight.”
The storm will pass
My illness and I will again find a way to cohabitate.
It will lurk quietly; resting, retreated
And I’ll find comfort in the knowledge that when it emerges again
and the cold begins to ooze up my spine
that I’ll never go down easy.
©Alexis Rose, image source: Pexels
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
Good for you. Proud to kow you
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I feel those hugs and thank you! I will definitely beat this!! I am gunna continue to be a warrior on my tiger. 💕
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This is beautifully written, The pain is evident. But there is a feeling that you will overcome it.
You have before.
Big hugs Alexis
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Thank You! 💕
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Beautifully and truthfully written. 💗
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Thank you for reading mine. I’m new to this 💜
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Thank you! ❤️
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That is so beautifully written ❤️
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Thank you! I feel that hug 🤗
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Thank you. It IS comforting isn’t it! 💕
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Thank you, Rayne 😊
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Love your fighting spirit and strength in the face of adversity. I send a hug.
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Beautiful.Thank you so much. It’s so comforting to know that others are on the same journey.
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Really well written! 🙂
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Thank you!!
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It is a daily ongoing fight.. you really expressed how much of one in this Alexis….
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🙂
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Amen sister friend! ❤️❤️
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Love That!! I can hear you roaring. Yay!!! 😃💕
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Thank You, Shelley ❤️🌸❤️
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Yeeeeah, this makes me want to roar! Love it! xx
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Powerful! Warrior speak! You inspire!!
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Thank you so much, Nicole 💐
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Reblogged this on Art by Nicole Corrado.
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Thank you! Keep healing. 💕
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Thank You so much for reblogging this post Kim. I really appreciate the support! ❤️❤️
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Thank you for your beautiful support. ❤️❤️❤️
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this poem makes me want to yell “YES…….Amen sister!” so very encouraging and forceful.
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Beautiful ✨ I felt every single word as I am just beginning to face my reality. Your craft is comforting💖 Prayers and best wishes to you😉
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Reblogged this on Author, Kim Knight and commented:
Beautiful, she ain’t goin’ down! Now way!!
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There are no words to express how beautifully written this was, especially the “skeleton hands” because it tells you how overpowering and nasty it can be.
I’m glad that you try your very best to fight off this thing holding you back, this thing that stops you from being the best version of yourself, because I’ve seen so many people give up and just let it consume them until there’s nothing left.
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