Change is a fact of life. Our bodies change, as do our cognitive abilities. Sometimes we embrace change, but sometimes change can be frightening. The fear of the unknown and the anticipation of what might be can be paralyzing; the feeling of vulnerability can prevent us from moving forward.
A few of my friends, including myself, have been going through significant grief, loss, and change the past year. Loss of many kinds, including illness, financial upheaval, deaths of loved ones, and watching how a progressive illness affects a family. We are also navigating aging in a society where becoming a woman of a certain age can make you feel irrelevant. Big.Tough.Stuff!
As I was talking with a friend yesterday, who was extremely distressed, I found the best thing I could do was to silently offer myself as her mirror. The grief and fear she is experiencing are (appropriately) palpable, but she is also doing some wonderful things both for herself and the community. Personal growth, and being of service to others is one of the constants in this person’s day-to-day life.
Sometimes, in the muck and mire of what life throws at us, we forget to see, and often don’t acknowledge that what we do, and who we are matters.
I go through feelings of irrelevance and self-doubt a lot. Especially when I can feel I am on the cusp of change. Right now, I have hit the pause button on many outside activities in my life. As I work to reconnect with myself; my center, I notice that my interests are heading in a different direction than they have been the past few years. That’s a natural progression for me, as I learn and grow. But, it’s also a bit scary. Although I still could be quite satisfied with the path I have been on, I’m also anxious to listen to what it is I may want to do next.
I find right now, that I am feeling the wind of change calling to me. Just as I was purposefully trying to be a mirror for my friend yesterday, I find I’m also seeking out the mirrors in my life. The ones who reflect back who I am without any masks. The person I have been working hard to become, without feeling shame, the need for perfection or control, but who can also firmly set personal boundaries.
As my friend and I were talking, she was describing to me an intensive class she will soon be taking. I started to think about the things I’m willing to let go of now, and the absolute openness of what will come next. Both of us began to get a bit stressed and animated over the, “how are we going to get through this?”
As my friend got up to grab some water, out of my mouth, from somewhere in that wise-mind of mine, I heard myself say the words, “Just do your best – You’ll find the how!”
I really believe those words were just a random thought that was passing by, but the words came out. We stared at each other in silence, stunned into the connectedness of knowing that it will be okay.
What happened next? We sat quietly next to each other, understanding that with change comes uncertainty. But that uncertainty only requires us to do our best, and trust that the how will reveal itself in its own perfect timing.
Photo by Mārtiņš Zemlickis on Unsplash
Thank you for reading my books: If I Could Tell You How It Feels, and Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph
xoxoxo Michele
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This (as always) is so beautifully said, Nancy.
Im so sorry to hear you were back in the hospital. Are you home now?
I think about you my friend, and always hold a place in my heart for you. You are by far the strongest survivor I know, and a beaming light in this world. That is what I would like to mirror back to you.
I ❤️ you, Nancy!
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I was back in the hospital hence have not been able to visit friends’ blogs. I glad I read this. I have always judged myself by what I saw in mirrors during different stages of my life. My friend and I had a discussion about this. We realized that not only were we positive mirrors to each other but that instead of introspection on what we see in ourselves, it is far better to find those who reflect the beauty they see in us inside and out. (This is a bit discombobulated. I hope it makes sense).
I love your wise words and how you bring perspective. Great post. ❤ you, Alexis!
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Thank You!!
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Great post
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Yay, it makes me smile huge that you can relate to it. 💕❤️
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Thank you, Michele ❤️
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Loved this post & can relate to it so much at the moment… It’s great to have amazing friends ❤💕
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well said.
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I have a feeling it will
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Someday…I bet it will happen, some day!
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I would gladly… My home welcomes you anytime. Its always warm n sunny here
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Lets switch. Im dreaming of the tropics. You are welcome here anytime by the way. 😊
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that is sweet and so thoughtful of you! i will look it up, oh you are in a place with much beauty in winter. thank you Alexis dear
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I will definitely touch some snow for you! If you go online look for pictures of the snow in the Twin Cities, MN. Hopefully you’ll see some beautiful winter wonderland pictures. I just tried to copy on of my backyard to you but couldn’t get it to show up.
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i wish i had come to the states later – i missed all the snow falling!!! i ma doing good Alexis, thank you. my heart is healing and looking forward to quality time with my kids, so glad to hear that you are pretty good, touch some snow for me please, let one flake kiss your cheek for me.
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Besides drowning in snow ❄️, Im doing pretty good! How about you?
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always good to revisit your words Alexis. i hope you are well my dear friend
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This is so true 😀
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Love it! ❤️
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Wow, so true!!
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Thank You, Brigid 💐
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Good advice, just what I needed to see in the mirror.
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wise words are often the ones you don’t need to think before speaking them.
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What a beautiful moment in time. I love your wisdom.
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Thank You! 💐
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Thank You, K E ❤️
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❤️
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You are such a kind soul! #godBless 🌷
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Love this.
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You are very welcome! You are pretty incredible and I will be sure to always make sure you know that!!
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Thank you Nicole! ❤️
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Thank You, Faiza 😊
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Reblogged this on Art by Nicole Corrado.
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Amazing advice and great tips. Loved reading this
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Thank you Niki! I love that you had a similar experience. The things that make life…well life! 😃 Have a wonderful day!
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Perfect advice. Beautiful gift, your listening. You’re a wonderful friend. I once had advice come through me like that too and a similar stunned reaction from my son, and then we both burst out laughing. “Explore the nuances of silence.” Thank you for this lovely write. We only have to do our best, just for today. Just for now. Those “nows” and days add up to a beautiful life. ♥.
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Oh Alyssa, wow…I think I really needed to hear that, at this moment. That darn self-doubt (🙄🤣) Thank You for your kind words my friend. Sleep well!
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So good to hear!
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Alexis this was a brilliant and beautiful post! So many of lives experiences create so much of the unknown, which can be a little scary. Your friend is SO lucky to have someone as compassionate and wonderful as you. We all need someone like you in our corner!
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I am feeling much better, thank you. Not quite fully recovered from my surgery, but definitely getting there.
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yes it’s a strong feeling I have had since then too, like I knew you from a time once before. continue to shine my dear. the thread from MN to Malaysia is fine and taunt!
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You know Gina, since we both began blogging I could feel our connection. I love that conspiring universe and how we are connected. Love to you my dear friend…connected across the world, from the northern state of MN to the equator. 💞💐
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Jodi, this means so much to me. I’ll be sending thoughts of calmer days to your daughter. Feel free to give her my email if she wants to reach out.
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i was talking about change just exactly as you wrote in your opening line, the same words really, embracing change. i am always surprised how the universe links our thoughts, we are truly connected in the tapestry of life, me , you, your friend and many others we come into contact with. i like how the words just came from your heart and leaped out, yes we will find the how, that will come, its sufficient to know the why for now. your words heal and uplift dear Alexis.
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I love this. We have a daughter in an intense fight with anxiety, depression and mental health issues. I’m going to share with her. But this also resonates deeply with me. Thank you. Jodi
Sent from my iPad
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Thank you my friend. I hope all is well and you are feeling good. ❤️
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“Just do your best, you’ll find the how.” What wonderful words to live by!
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You’re most welcome.
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Thank you my friend 💐
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Thank You, Tre 😊
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Brilliant- you are so onto it, as always 🙂
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It’s awesome of you to be there for your friend and to allow yourself to be vulnerable too in helping her in her time of need.
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Thanks Shelley! That is wonderful insight. Im still a constant work in progress about letting go of control and perfection. Its so important to trust our intuition, isn’t it! ❤️
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😘
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Thank You, Ana 😊
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Pingback: Just do your best; You’ll find your how! – Timeless Wisdoms
Beautifully written. Reblogging to sister site “Timeless Wisdoms”
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Can very much relate to the experience of navigating the big unknowns, little uncertainties too. I’ve discovered when I lean into trusting my intuition without expecting perfection of myself, the situation becomes less about the desired outcome and more about an awareness of the richness of what’s flowing in along the way. Thanks!
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