Listen to the whispers, before they become screams

I have become this oddly worried person the last few months. My children and my husband have all gone through tremendous life changes since November. Some exciting and joyous, some scary and devastating. As with all crises and life-changes, things eventually even out. We begin to operate on a new normal, and what was once scary and heartbreaking morphs into something that may be better. We know for sure that everything is impermanent and things change constantly. But when the changes happened in a matter of six weeks, it was easy to let the day-to-day worry seep in and take over.

I suddenly became that person who worried her hands, was anxious all the time, wondering if the snow would be too much, or if my husbands cold was something more, or if the kids would find happiness if they felt stressed for an hour. I was catastrophizing everything and it felt terrible.

I could tell it felt terrible, by how my chest was constricted, I felt on the verge of panic attacks, obsessively cleaning my house, and worrying, worrying, worrying all day long. I couldn’t stand to be inside my body. I was becoming a person that I didn’t want to be or live with, and my self-esteem was tumbling. Something had to change!

Late last Fall, I knew I needed to find a new therapist. I had been “graduated” from therapy for about 8 months but I felt I needed someone to help me continue to learn to live with my PTSD symptoms. Even using all the tools in my toolbox, I found myself still fighting them and being angry at them every day.  After a long search, I found a new therapist and had my first appointment in January.

Last week during our session, I told her how I had become this worried, anxious person who felt terrible in my mind and body. I had an understanding where it was coming from, and I knew why it was happening. I didn’t need that kind of insight. What I needed was to learn how to put things in perspective so I could begin to feel better, and to stop any downward spiral into crisis.

After I described how I felt physically, emotionally, and my thought patterns, she taught me this: Listen to the whispers in your body. (the fatigue, the need for rest, the need for peace and quiet, the way the body wants to exercise (does it need yoga or aerobics). She explained that my body and mind were whispering to me. If I could stop, and listen to those whispers, then my body, and mind won’t have to begin to scream at me.  Screaming at me may manifest into crisis.

I stopped and aptly listened as she was teaching me this technique. It sounds so easy, and of course, we hear (and I say to others) just stop, don’t forget to breathe and rest. But when it comes to myself, those are often just words. There was something about the lesson of listening to the whispers that make sense to me and felt doable.

With that lesson learned, I have been practising listening to the whispers of my body and mind and trying to hear and honor what they are saying. I’m not perfect at it, I’m still trying to metabolize what that really means for me. But, I’m going to use it as a daily practice. I hope a lifelong practice.

Do you listen to the whispers in your body and mind before they become screams?

Thank You for reading my new book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels.   Available in both Kindle and paperback.

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64 thoughts on “Listen to the whispers, before they become screams

  1. Pingback: Listen to the whispers, before they become screams | Success Inspirers World

  2. I didn’t for a long time — and from your responses neither have a lot of other good people, trying a little too hard to be the best we can be — but I’m working on it now. Bet your post helps a lot of people focus on it. There’ll be a few more reading it because I’m reblogging now to my sister site, Success Inspirers World 🏆

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I find it takes huge practice to listen to the whispers and Im not always (or nearly) as successful as I would like to be. We are all a work in progress. ❤️

    Like

  4. The Wanderlost Campaigner

    I very much struggle to listen to the whispers, but the amount of screams have led me to try to focus on them. I don’t like being submerged in the negative screamer, it just makes everything unbearable.

    Thank you for your honesty.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yes, I completely relate to this. Even though I’m consciously working on listening to the whispers, my defaults is to ignore and hit that wall. It happened again yesterday…I didn’t listen, (kind of actively ignored) and Bam I paid for it. But, today was a new day. I forgave myself and started fresh. Thank You so much for sharing your experience with me. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I really like the idea of attending to whispers before they become screams. It seems like a skill that might take a while to develop, however. This is particularly true because one of my coping mechanisms (and this is true for many others, I know) has been to IGNORE the whispers, to just plow forward, survive, get it done, just keep going no matter what. Until, of course, that didn’t work anymore and everything fell apart. Nowadays I know it has to be different, but all too often I still dismiss the whispers as proof I am being lazy or not trying hard enough. I think you know what that’s like.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. If you are feeling this nervous you should definitely do something about it. I kind of get the sane things which affect my health adversely. But I liked the concept of ‘listen to the whispers before they become screams’ . You have a really cool blog here and I have followed to read more!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Excellent.

    Here is a little mantra i try to use when thpse “whispers” become audible.

    I have got that peaceful easy feeling

    Inspired by

    “The Eagles”

    “Peaceful Easy Feeling”

    From my other blog fivefingermantra.wordpress

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Beautiful. What I actually taught myself to do in that situation was sit with myself and speak calmly and ask what the fear was. I would then give to the frightened self or fearful self soothing and comfort. I would say I know you are scared but you are not alone and I hear you and am here with you, when I would do this things would calm down. But you have expressed this in a lovely way and I am so glad you found that therapist. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  10. May I remind people, we should pay heed to the whispers of others too? Recently, a family member made some remarks/whispers that lead me to believe he is in a very fragile state. Alerted to his faint cry, I’m more attentive to him and his needs.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You did?? Thank You so much Brigid. I really Really appreciate you buying the book. ❤️ From reading everything that you write, you do seem to have a good handle on listening to your whispers. You are quite inspiring to me. 💐

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s great, isnt it! I love how the smallest lessons we share with each other can make a difference! She took something that I thought was out of my control and gave me the simplest of concepts to use. Although I think Im going to be needing some practice before its second nature. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jackie, among your other superpowers, listening to your whispers is definitely one of them. You are the most tenacious person I know and will not be deterred until you get answers. You are truly an inspiration! ❤️❤️

    Like

  14. Personally, I’m always going through this inner commentary between my self and my Higher Self. I ask the Infinite questions about everything as I proceed through life. It keeps life from getting to harried, and lets me focus into what is important in the moment.
    I agree. Filter everything through the heart, and try to take it easy. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Jacqueline Zeigler

    Yes I do. Have practiced this for quite a while now, and doing this saved my life. You see, my arteries we’re clogging and I was a heart attack waiting to happen. When the first cardiologist my family doctor sent me to brushed off my concerns and told me to go home and exercise, I went back to my family doctor. I was sent to a different cardiologist and learned I needed bypass surgery. Listening to those whispers saved my life that time. In times prior to that and since, learning my emotional limits has saved me from mental pain in stress. Listen to your body; it will tell you everything you need to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I do, and have for most of my life. I think it was part of my coping mechanism. I couldn’t control pain in other parts of my life but I could find ways to manage it in my body. It has paid off in spades. Listening to Whispers inspires me to listen in new ways.
    I’m glad this thought has found you, it will make a big difference in your life.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. What a wonderful concept you so beautifully explain here. Being present and mindful of your own needs has been so beneficial to me and this post really drives that home. Take care of yourself and pay attention to what the body and mind require before it becomes a scream. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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