From shattered oblivion, I crawled back from the depths of despair. Never knowing and always terrified that PTSD would be my demise.
It’s bullying way of hurling me from present to the past, often left me winded and frightened. The triggers sometimes still happen. I’m often winded, but now I understand the fear. I’m able to patiently, uncomfortably wait it out. Knowing that this too will pass. Symptoms are time-limited.
The loneliness on the healing journey of remembering, processing, and feeling has been eased by forcing myself to sit with the truth. That truth brings acceptance. It’s not an easy truth, but it’s mine. My life, my past. I understand what happened and the effects of the trauma.
Most days the grief for a life interrupted is replaced by the solace of knowing the who, what, when, and how. For me, it feels better to have a congruent timeline. To no longer live under a “cover-story” because of threats and fear.
Still practising the independence of using all my tools to cope day-to-day. Sometimes feeling like a stranger with no purpose other than to heal. But then remembering that my purpose through this healing process was to live, so I can live, not just survive.
From shattered oblivion, I broke free from the choke-hold of silence. My open traumatic, psychological wounds are scarred over and I’m standing on a much firmer ground. Triumphant firmer ground!
Thank You for reading my newest book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels
ebook available now, Paperback available the week of January 23rd, 2018
Pingback: Book review: If I Could Tell You How It Feels – Mental Health @ Home
No problem, at all.
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Thank You!! I really appreciate that.
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This is incredible. A really great read. Thank you.
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It takes a very brave person to work through their trauma. You, are very brave. Even with the lumps in our throats and the waves of emotion, we can heal. Blessings to you! ❤️
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Thank you so much for sharing this.
I too have been dogged by trauma, as have many others, and am finding it really difficult to lift myself from the power of it. I have been given the label of PTSD and begin working on it next week with a talking therapies group. I’m not sure how this will go as whenever I try to talk a lump forms in my throat, I begin to shake and sweat as I try to go back and fathom the the threads of it all in a coherent way.
I came to the conclusion that to take my power back and work through it was to start my blog (complete newbie) and go through what happened in the hopes that the traumatic power diminishes its hold in my life.
Blessings to you xxx
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Thank You! Blogging definitely helps and its a wonderfully supportive community.
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Nice post very poetic. I’m still putting together my tool box. Finding blogging to be a new tool. I hope to see more of your posts.
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Write it, heal & live again
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Thank You! ❤️
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Congrats!! You finished your book.. 🙂🙂
Sending positive vibes 🌼
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You’re welcome Alexis
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Absolutely!
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Thank You Kenzie, I appreciate you so much. At times that lifelong companion can be so frustrating! ❤️
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So glad you find yourself on firmer ground. I too have a more stable terra firma, but at times, I feel the earth shake with memories/traumas from the past. It is my firm belief, some nightmares are forever going to make their presence known, that CPTSD is my lifelong companion. At least, I have now spoken the truths, but it is of little comfort.
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Thank You! 😊
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Congratulations on finishing your book. It’s a difficult journey to go through. However, I’m sure the healing that’s taken place during the writing process has been invaluable. Again, congratulations 😊🎉
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❤️🙏🏼 This is why Im grateful for WordPress. We’ve connected across the sea with love and strength for each other.
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oh Alexis thank you! your words could not have come at a better time, the grief is so sharp some days it really slices me thin, i will lean on your words for comfort. you stay strong and positive too, we will have thunderstorms and we will have sunny days too. hugs from across the sea.
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Thanks Gina, Im healing every day. Im also still holding gentle space in my heart for you dear friend. Especially on the days when the grief creeps up on you. ❤️❤️❤️
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the truth brings acceptance, while i ache to read this as it tells me of the pain you have had to endure, it also says that you can heal my dearest one.
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❤️
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heartbreaking, but a lot of wisdom here. Beautifully spoken. love Michele
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