Two Roses

Two roses stand strong
within their protective thorns.
Entwined by years of friendship 
they share secrets, thoughts, laughter, and tears.
They sway with the whispering breeze
as they bloom and grow.
Mesmerizing all with the wisdom of their ageless beauty. 

2-roses

©Alexis Rose; image: pexels.com

Thank You for reading my new book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels, available in both ebook and paperback from Amazon.

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Now in Paperback; Thank You for the 5-Star Reviews

If I Could Tell You How It Feels, is now available in both paperback and ebook formats.  I’m filled with gratitude that the book has caught on so quickly. In a week’s time, we already have some 5-star reviews that I wanted to share. Thank-You so much for reading and giving such wonderful reviews!


5.0 out of 5 starsA Thoughtful and Authentic Glimpse into Living with PTSD

With incredible insight and eloquence, Alexis Rose helped me see more clearly the intricacies of living with PTSD. Her thoughtful and authentic descriptions of the challenges in her daily life gave me a glimpse into the complexity of this disease that affects so many people around me right now. I appreciate the beautiful artwork that compliments many of her short essays – and how it adds another dimension to her important messages. Alexis Rose has certainly found her voice – and this book is bound to help many others find their voice as well. A great resource – Bravo!

A beautiful book that is filled with writings, poems, and pictures/images that describe the author’s experiences with language that is so descriptive you can often not only understand, but also get an idea of what it can really feel like to face some of the challenges of PTSD. It is a fast read, that you can do from front to back, or in snippets when you are needing something uplifting and hopeful. It is a book I will definitely buy a paper copy of in order to be able to have it on hand and within easy reach so I can pick it up when I am needing a little pick me up myself.

 

Thank you for reading, If I Could Tell You How It Feels, my life journey with PTSD

Listen to the whispers, before they become screams

I have become this oddly worried person the last few months. My children and my husband have all gone through tremendous life changes since November. Some exciting and joyous, some scary and devastating. As with all crises and life-changes, things eventually even out. We begin to operate on a new normal, and what was once scary and heartbreaking morphs into something that may be better. We know for sure that everything is impermanent and things change constantly. But when the changes happened in a matter of six weeks, it was easy to let the day-to-day worry seep in and take over.

I suddenly became that person who worried her hands, was anxious all the time, wondering if the snow would be too much, or if my husbands cold was something more, or if the kids would find happiness if they felt stressed for an hour. I was catastrophizing everything and it felt terrible.

I could tell it felt terrible, by how my chest was constricted, I felt on the verge of panic attacks, obsessively cleaning my house, and worrying, worrying, worrying all day long. I couldn’t stand to be inside my body. I was becoming a person that I didn’t want to be or live with, and my self-esteem was tumbling. Something had to change!

Late last Fall, I knew I needed to find a new therapist. I had been “graduated” from therapy for about 8 months but I felt I needed someone to help me continue to learn to live with my PTSD symptoms. Even using all the tools in my toolbox, I found myself still fighting them and being angry at them every day.  After a long search, I found a new therapist and had my first appointment in January.

Last week during our session, I told her how I had become this worried, anxious person who felt terrible in my mind and body. I had an understanding where it was coming from, and I knew why it was happening. I didn’t need that kind of insight. What I needed was to learn how to put things in perspective so I could begin to feel better, and to stop any downward spiral into crisis.

After I described how I felt physically, emotionally, and my thought patterns, she taught me this: Listen to the whispers in your body. (the fatigue, the need for rest, the need for peace and quiet, the way the body wants to exercise (does it need yoga or aerobics). She explained that my body and mind were whispering to me. If I could stop, and listen to those whispers, then my body, and mind won’t have to begin to scream at me.  Screaming at me may manifest into crisis.

I stopped and aptly listened as she was teaching me this technique. It sounds so easy, and of course, we hear (and I say to others) just stop, don’t forget to breathe and rest. But when it comes to myself, those are often just words. There was something about the lesson of listening to the whispers that make sense to me and felt doable.

With that lesson learned, I have been practising listening to the whispers of my body and mind and trying to hear and honor what they are saying. I’m not perfect at it, I’m still trying to metabolize what that really means for me. But, I’m going to use it as a daily practice. I hope a lifelong practice.

Do you listen to the whispers in your body and mind before they become screams?

Thank You for reading my new book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels.   Available in both Kindle and paperback.

Thank You Sally Cafe & Bookstore

Sally’s Cafe and Bookstore has added If I Could Tell You How It Feels to their bookshelves.

Follow the link and find fabulous books by a variety of authors. All the books have a link to where they can be purchased.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2018/01/19/sallys-cafe-and-bookstore-author-update-alexis-roseangie-dokos-annika-perry-paulette-mahurin-and-geoff-le-pard/

Thank You Sally Cronin for all you do to support the large author community on WordPress.

Thank You everyone for finding your way to my new book, and for writing the 5 star reviews. Its been an amazing and humbling couple of days.

Rising From the Depths of PTSD

From shattered oblivion, I crawled back from the depths of despair. Never knowing and always terrified that PTSD would be my demise.

It’s bullying way of hurling me from present to the past, often left me winded and frightened. The triggers sometimes still happen. I’m often winded, but now I understand the fear. I’m able to patiently, uncomfortably wait it out. Knowing that this too will pass. Symptoms are time-limited.

The loneliness on the healing journey of remembering, processing, and feeling has been eased by forcing myself to sit with the truth. That truth brings acceptance. It’s not an easy truth, but it’s mine. My life, my past. I understand what happened and the effects of the trauma.

Most days the grief for a life interrupted is replaced by the solace of knowing the who, what, when, and how. For me, it feels better to have a congruent timeline. To no longer live under a “cover-story” because of threats and fear.

Still practising the independence of using all my tools to cope day-to-day. Sometimes feeling like a stranger with no purpose other than to heal. But then remembering that my purpose through this healing process was to live, so I can live, not just survive.

From shattered oblivion, I broke free from the choke-hold of silence. My open traumatic, psychological wounds are scarred over and I’m standing on a much firmer ground. Triumphant firmer ground!

Thank You for reading my newest book, If I Could Tell You How It Feels

 

 

 

 

 

ebook available now, Paperback available the week of January 23rd, 2018