Anatomy of a Flashback

Time of year, breaking news, the wind blowing a certain way…whatever the trigger

There is no telling when it is going to strike

Are they alive or dead?

Is that pain real or echoes from pain long ago that

resurface with a memory?

It feels like I’m being held hostage by my mind

Doesn’t matter what day, time, or year it is…the anatomy of my flashbacks

Are those smells real or is that a smell from a place and time

when I was being held against my will?

Am I really hearing the sounds of helicopters, planes, cicadas or birds?

Or it that the sound coming from a place that no longer exists and

should never be talked about?

Then it passes and I pull myself up the rope

Out of the clutches of PTSD and the skeleton hands of the past

that keep trying to pull me down

The anatomy of my flashbacks

my PTSD

image source: pixabay

Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

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35 thoughts on “Anatomy of a Flashback

  1. agoodlittlegirl November 19, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    Thanks Alexis Rose, and I do love your name. I’m doing almost splendid, on this side of the ugly.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Alexis Rose November 18, 2017 / 4:00 pm

    Is it incredible what our minds to to protect us. I hope you are doing okay!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. agoodlittlegirl November 18, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    Adept at denial, my flashbacks arrived while I was in the midst of writing my first book. Then a TV program’s opening scenes sent me whirling into the past, and other buried happenings. Amazing what the mind is capable of.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mandy November 17, 2017 / 6:09 pm

    As one who has experienced the torment of flashbacks for decades, you’ve described so well the reality of what flashbacks are like. Oh for a magic solution. My motto is One Day at a Time. You are a wonderful advocate others.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. dbest1ishere November 16, 2017 / 4:30 pm

    This explains the flashbacks to a tee……I am sorry you experience these as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alexis Rose November 16, 2017 / 3:28 pm

    Im sorry that you experience that confusion too! ❤️❤️

    Like

  7. alicewithptsd November 16, 2017 / 5:51 am

    Anatomy of a flashback. So spot on. I’m sorry these flashbacks still plague you. The confusion over not knowing of that pain is real or of the past really hits home for me. I’m sorry you experience this, too. Thank you for sharing. 💟

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Catherine November 15, 2017 / 11:16 pm

    Powerful stuff. I can appreciate what you go through with the intrusive smells. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. crazywriterof6 November 15, 2017 / 8:27 pm

    Thanks… I have avoided therapy for 12 years now. Been a physical health mess for so long. The mental part is lacking now too. its been pretty bad the last few years. My wife is concerned. I’ll get to it eventually, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Alexis Rose November 15, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    I think those two words sum it up great! Flashbacks suck.
    Its one of those things that happen and we just learn how to ease back into the present when they are done. Your support is awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Alexis Rose April 12, 2017 / 12:26 pm

    Thank you for reblogging this post. I really appreciate it. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Alexis Rose April 9, 2017 / 6:59 pm

    Thank You! Someday they will go away…I hope. Hugs received with a HUGE smile!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Courage Coaching April 9, 2017 / 6:15 pm

    I wish these flashbacks would leave you alone my dear friend! Thank you for sharing and I hope the bilatral typing helped to distance you a little from the discomfort.Many hugs to you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  14. emergingfromthedarknight April 9, 2017 / 12:12 am

    Thanks Alexis I am realising I have to try to make an intention to break out of it when it happens but its not so easy as I was trapped in the car and that all replays in some strange way….. anyway, thank you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Alexis Rose April 9, 2017 / 12:06 am

    Thank You so much for your insight. Funny, just last night I wondered to my therapist how long my flashbacks last. 2 hours is so long, Im sure painfully long. Im so glad you can acknowledge and rest in your clear spaces. Thank You so much for sharing this with me. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  16. emergingfromthedarknight April 8, 2017 / 11:39 pm

    I enter flash back every morning when I wake up. Todays went on for 2 hours!! It gets so tiring at times. But then I enter the clear space where its behind me or at least a way a way and I know I will get these kind of reprieves which is better than a few years ago, feeling constantly subsumed. This is a wonderful post to explain how it feels and how so many things can resonate as triggers. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Singledust April 8, 2017 / 10:46 pm

    the pleasure is always mine and my privilege to read you, sometimes I get too busy with work and the kids and wanting to write too and life just won’t give me a break. but when I read you it touches my heart deeply. and makes me stop and think, lots of love to you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Alexis Rose April 8, 2017 / 10:44 pm

    Oh Gina, you have such a way with words. I always feel like you’re standing next to me when you comment. Thank you my dear friend for being you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  19. @vapor_sage April 8, 2017 / 10:20 pm

    Olfactory memory is the strongest. Truly haunting description

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Singledust April 8, 2017 / 10:13 pm

    Hi sweet Alexis! Anatomy of flash backs, so painful I feel for you and want to say I understand but my pain is pale against your crimson red heart. But I hear you and know how flash backs can paraylze a person, freeze me, make me unable to think rationally. This was raw writing Alexis – thank you always for sharing your heart with us.

    Liked by 1 person

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