Anatomy of a Flashback

Time of year, breaking news, the wind blowing a certain way…whatever the trigger

There is no telling when it is going to strike

Are they alive or dead?

Is that pain real or echoes from pain long ago that

resurface with a memory?

It feels like I’m being held hostage by my mind

Doesn’t matter what day, time, or year it is…the anatomy of my flashbacks

Are those smells real or is that a smell from a place and time

when I was being held against my will?

Am I really hearing the sounds of helicopters, planes, cicadas or birds?

Or it that the sound coming from a place that no longer exists and

should never be talked about?

Then it passes and I pull myself up the rope

Out of the clutches of PTSD and the skeleton hands of the past

that keep trying to pull me down

The anatomy of my flashbacks

my PTSD

image source: pixabay

Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

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35 thoughts on “Anatomy of a Flashback

  1. Pingback: Anatomy of a Flashback — Untangled – Just saying…

  2. Adept at denial, my flashbacks arrived while I was in the midst of writing my first book. Then a TV program’s opening scenes sent me whirling into the past, and other buried happenings. Amazing what the mind is capable of.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mandy

    As one who has experienced the torment of flashbacks for decades, you’ve described so well the reality of what flashbacks are like. Oh for a magic solution. My motto is One Day at a Time. You are a wonderful advocate others.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anatomy of a flashback. So spot on. I’m sorry these flashbacks still plague you. The confusion over not knowing of that pain is real or of the past really hits home for me. I’m sorry you experience this, too. Thank you for sharing. 💟

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks… I have avoided therapy for 12 years now. Been a physical health mess for so long. The mental part is lacking now too. its been pretty bad the last few years. My wife is concerned. I’ll get to it eventually, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank You so much for your insight. Funny, just last night I wondered to my therapist how long my flashbacks last. 2 hours is so long, Im sure painfully long. Im so glad you can acknowledge and rest in your clear spaces. Thank You so much for sharing this with me. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I enter flash back every morning when I wake up. Todays went on for 2 hours!! It gets so tiring at times. But then I enter the clear space where its behind me or at least a way a way and I know I will get these kind of reprieves which is better than a few years ago, feeling constantly subsumed. This is a wonderful post to explain how it feels and how so many things can resonate as triggers. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. the pleasure is always mine and my privilege to read you, sometimes I get too busy with work and the kids and wanting to write too and life just won’t give me a break. but when I read you it touches my heart deeply. and makes me stop and think, lots of love to you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi sweet Alexis! Anatomy of flash backs, so painful I feel for you and want to say I understand but my pain is pale against your crimson red heart. But I hear you and know how flash backs can paraylze a person, freeze me, make me unable to think rationally. This was raw writing Alexis – thank you always for sharing your heart with us.

    Liked by 1 person

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