A Cloudy Week of PTSD

I want to wrap my mind and myself in a soft, comfy jacket, cover it with honey and hang out in a room with puppies, feeling the happy, drooling puppy breath that brings smiles from oozing love.

I want to naturally exhale after taking a deep breath, not having to consciously remind myself to breathe, as I come out a flashback or feel contracted from getting triggered.

I want to ease the pain in my body that I know is not really there.

I want to be able to have a conversation with someone and not feel like I’m standing behind a scrim of safety because, at this time of year, trust is at a premium.

I have to remember that this week is just a glitch and sometimes I will find myself sliding into the abyss of PTSD.

I know that even though I am waning in the strength of mind, body, and emotion right now, I am still (and always will be) mega-tons stronger than any perpetrator that harmed me physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually!

It’s been a cloudy week of PTSD!

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Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

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32 thoughts on “A Cloudy Week of PTSD

  1. Alexis Rose October 7, 2017 / 1:31 pm

    Thank you so much for your insight. Im glad that we are both not alone and that many of us are here to get us through these cloudy weeks. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Blue Sky October 7, 2017 / 2:59 am

    These times of flashbacks Alexis, I am beginning to realize, are reality checks… that this is NOT in our head… it is real. A reality check that what happened was real and that we still need to take care of ourselves. These moments come from out of nowhere and we cannot stop them. They are so painful because they take us by surprise and crush our hopes that we are now strong and okay. You are not alone! My heart goes out to you! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. watchingthedaisies October 6, 2017 / 5:18 pm

    I am sorry you are struggling at the moment Alexis. I hope you manage to feel your way back up soon. Hugs. 🌼

    Liked by 2 people

  4. dancingpalmtrees October 6, 2017 / 6:07 am

    It’s not terrible. Violence and fights are a way of life in this country and the workplace is no different. I stopped being scared. Now in my military mindset. For what he did all he got was a slap on the wrist and a warning. Now I know that I must be ready to defend myself by any means necessary. Life is all about survival.

    Like

  5. Alexis Rose October 5, 2017 / 8:53 am

    Awesome feedback. Thank you for sharing with me. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alexis Rose October 5, 2017 / 8:51 am

    Thank You, they are well received 🤗

    Like

  7. Emma Cownie October 5, 2017 / 7:50 am

    I often find that some feeling that I have not articulated is at the bottom of “cloudiness” – often it is a sense of shame, maybe a reaction to something someone had said to me, or something I felt I’d got wrong. I wasn’t always aware of what it was but had to talk it out. Then my feelings could “right themselves”.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. taurusingemini October 5, 2017 / 7:37 am

    It’s always hard, when the memories you thought you’d left completely behind came rushing back to your mind, and, you get trapped in the midst of the emotions, and, you just have to keep reminding yourself, that you must put one foot in front of the other, keep moving forward, with your life, working through every single detail of the traumas of your younger years, just keep working on your self, and one day, those memories will be resolved, and they won’t haunt you any longer!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. DW October 5, 2017 / 3:52 am

    Oh Alexis big hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

  10. shelie27 October 5, 2017 / 1:00 am

    My husband has had a cloudy few weeks too. I hope the start clearing at soon.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Alexis Rose October 5, 2017 / 12:40 am

    Oh, thank you Christy. ❤️❤️

    Like

  12. Christy B October 4, 2017 / 11:47 pm

    Thank you for reaching out of the clouds to take our hands xx

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Ashley October 4, 2017 / 10:34 pm

    Me too. Late September/early October is hard for me. Sending encouraging and comforting thoughts to you. You aren’t alone!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. rabbitpatchdiary.com October 4, 2017 / 9:38 pm

    I am so sorry-I wish you healing and strength-you have come a long way-you have made it this far and helped others in the process-I am pulling for you, the best is yet to come!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Alexis Rose October 4, 2017 / 5:03 pm

    Oh my gosh…that’s terrible!!!
    Sending you prayers of strength and support.

    Like

  16. dancingpalmtrees October 4, 2017 / 4:50 pm

    It was a workplace violence issue. Let’s hope I won’t make the newspapers as a victim. I was witness to the incident so this is not going to go well. I must admit that I am afraid.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Alexis Rose October 4, 2017 / 4:29 pm

    Im so sorry to hear that all hell broke loose. I know you are on the retirement countdown and somedays it seems further away than others. Hopefully the week will turn itself around. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  18. dancingpalmtrees October 4, 2017 / 3:54 pm

    I completely understand. My work week started off well. Actually I’ve been very happy with my photography. But all hell broke out at work last night and things are steadily going downhill. I was ready to cry when I got home this morning. I suppose my only saving grace is that next year I can put in for retirement.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Alexis Rose October 4, 2017 / 3:41 pm

    Thank You Rayne. The waves come and go, dont they. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Rayne October 4, 2017 / 3:38 pm

    I hope things look up soon. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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