PTSD Awareness Month

 

My PTSD

It doesn’t matter if it is cold, hot, sunny, snowing or raining.

There is no telling when it is going to strike.
Are they alive or dead?

Is that pain real or echoes from pain long ago that resurface with a memory?                                   

It’s like being held hostage by your mind

Thinking today would be the day I am free.

I look like everyone else.

I know the difference between right and wrong.                                                                                              

Yet sometimes in my head, I can’t remember the last ten minutes of my life, or what day, year or time it is.

Are those smells real or is that a smell from a place and time when I was being held against my will?

Am I really hearing the sounds of helicopters, planes Cicadas, and birds?

Or is that the sound coming from a place that no longer exists and should never be talked about?

I want so much to be like everyone else.

So I will keep pulling myself up the rope.

Out of the clutches of PTSD and all the skeleton hand of the past that keep trying to pull me down.

I am like everyone else only my job is to live so I CAN live.

That is all I can ask of myself if I am going to have a future.

©Alexis Rose

 

image source: google images

Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

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8 thoughts on “PTSD Awareness Month

  1. Alexis Rose June 18, 2017 / 10:49 pm

    Thank You so much, Chaplain Doll. Im so sorry that its so relatable and also so glad to hear thats its relatable, if that makes sense. All of us who wrestle with PTSD can support each other on our healing journey. Have a great evening.

    Like

  2. Chaplain Doll June 18, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    What a great poem, I can relate to so many of the lines you wrote. I am often haunted by thoughts and dreams that I wonder if they are real or not. Just like you I continue to pull myself up and live another day so I can live my life. Thank you for your awesome poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. mia_haider June 16, 2017 / 2:43 pm

    this poetry is the best way you would want to describe you. your future. in my opinion if you keep writing excellent poems you could become a poet.. you need support and i would be with you i you made this decision.
    with you,
    maneeha ( mia)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Alexis Rose June 16, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    Yes, this poem was written at the beginning of my journey. Lots of change since than.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. taurusingemini June 16, 2017 / 11:42 am

    You would have to undergo the complete process of catharsis, in order, to get out from under, and the journey would be, filled with difficulties, especially when you finally get ready to confront whoever it was that’s hurt you from when you were younger, and, chances are, you will, shatter, for the final AND last time as I already had, then, you will heal back up, finally!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alexis Rose June 16, 2017 / 2:58 am

    Definitely worth every moment. Thank you for your wonderful insight. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Peaceful Journey June 16, 2017 / 2:52 am

    Thanks for your transparency, each time you do, you are removing layers and shedding light in dark places. No one ever promised the journey is easy, but it is worth the undertaking.

    Liked by 1 person

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