Do You Have a Corner Coach?

“You’re a hard stick.” I hear those words each time I have blood drawn. Yesterday, after four sticks, for five tubes of blood, and a very upset phlebotomist, I found myself cheering her on, telling her she can do it, she’ll have a great day once she’s found a vein, all you need is confidence. I was determined to have her shake it off and find a vein because she was the only one working yesterday; she couldn’t pass me on to a co-worker and I was not going to come back another day, to hear the same words, “You’re a hard stick.” That’s the kind of stress I prefer to only have once a year if possible, not two days in a row. She finally found a blood-giving vein and off I went, hoping to never lay eyes on her again!

I love the term corner coach. I used it with my kids growing up. When they were nervous about a test, activity, any kind of fear before the unknown, I would encourage them on, telling them, I’ve got you, I’m your corner coach. It’s a term I’ve used with my kids, but haven’t asked for it in my own life until recently.

I whole-heartedly believe that learning to live with a chronic illness takes support. Support can come in many forms. It can be family, friends, pets, therapists, a supportive blogging community, whatever feels safe and supportive. Making changes, transformations, living with an illness, healing from trauma is a lonely journey, but as I’ve said many, many times it doesn’t have to be an alone journey.

I work very hard to accept that I’m living with an illness, I’m living with PTSD. It doesn’t define me, but it is part of what I cope with on a daily basis.  With this acceptance comes doubt, nervousness, sometimes feeling defeat and extreme exhaustion. There are times when I just want to sit down in the middle of the ring, have the referee give me an 8-count and quit the fight. That’s when I need a corner coach.

There are times, when I look at my therapist and say, “I just need you to be my corner coach right now.” He gets it, says all the correct, “I’m proud of you, you can do it, you’re doing great, you’re kicking-ass kind of things. I’m then able to stand up and can get back into the ring of life again.

There are times when I say to my friends, I need you to cheer me on right now. It’s easy to trust my therapist and ask him to do that. It’s been a steep learning curve to ask my friends and family. I always had that role. The happy, you can do it, I’m right there beside you role. But I’m learning that I have to ask my friends and family for that kind of support. To infuse confidence, to see me, hear me, rest with me, hold my hand, go out and play a bit.  It’s what I need right now.

I’m exhausted from eight years of complex-PTSD, but I’m stronger and determined to feel times of contentment and peace more and more in my life. One of the reasons I’m stronger is because I know I need to have corner coaches.  Do you have people or animals in your life who will get you back in the ring, or sit down beside you and rest with you, letting you know that you’re okay? Do you have a corner coach?

image source: pexels


Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph


30 thoughts on “Do You Have a Corner Coach?

  1. Reblogged this on LoriCamper.Com and commented:
    There is nothing like having at least one person to support you and cheer you along. Alexis Rose talks about being a corner coach and then having and needing a corner coach. She has no problem telling her friends she needs them to be her corner coach for the moment. Surrounding yourself with more than one person willing to step in and be your corner coach for the moment is a smart move. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank You! Wow, your comment really touched me. I totally agree with moving away towards freedom, while not cleaving off the past any longer but incorporating it into my wholeness. Have a wonderful day! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well I am cheering you on! Think of how far you have already come-think that you have used what you now know to help others. Everyday you move further away from your past-you are more free now than you have ever been-and tomorrow you will be even further. Go well, we are pulling for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this post! I don’t think I have many corner coaches…. most people are quite harsh and say “well you should have done X Y and Z”, when I sm struggling… I think the best couple of corner coaches I have, are actually here on WordPress! (Blogger buddies).
    Keep fighting and doing your best/A corner coach 🙂 🌹

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I used to have a lot of therapist friends in Scotland who were a Godsend. We used to swap sessions with one another. I am fairly self reliant these days but I have a great sister and a lovely auntie who cheer me on. I have found fellow bloggers are a huge support in times of need. I feel very blessed to share with you all.😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. For the most part, I have to rely on myself for a corner coach. It’s hard for me to hear others say it and not think oh bullshit, you don’t mean it, but thanks, I recognize your intention and carry on

    Liked by 2 people

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