My Child with a Broken Heart

Oct12

What do I say to my child with a broken heart?

I’m so sorry this happened to you.

It will be okay, it doesn’t feel like it, but it will be okay.

We hold him through the tears, we sit with him and let him talk, and sob, just sitting, just feeling.

We reassure him, that he is lovable, he’s a good person, that his dreams will come true.

We text, we call, we make sure he is eating, make sure he is surrounded by good friends and we cry for his pain.

We know as parents that this will pass, that her breaking his heart now was the best outcome before he walked down the aisle in 10 weeks. We saw the divorce happening before they even said their I-do’s. We talked about stopping the wedding at the ceremony. (could we be those people?)

We knew she was absolutely the wrong person for him, but he loved her. His heart loved her.

What do I say to My child with a broken heart? I love you, we love you, it will be okay. You will be okay!

broken-hearted-depressed-man

photo: borrowed from google images

 

 

 

37 thoughts on “My Child with a Broken Heart”

  2. I am so happy that the outcome is one of healing and compassion. Of course he will find the perfect person for him and when she comes he will realise that the heartache he feels now was nowhere as near the joy he will experience in the future.
    In my own case, the friendship which I hope will fizzle out seems to be getting stronger and stronger. But what can I do? I guess I’ll just have to wait it out. It’s hard being a parent isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was easier for us to give our views once we could see what was happening because he was our son. With a friend it would be harder. I see how that played out as my sons friends have gathered around to support him. Most saying how terrible this gitl was. He is doing better now, more healing, less numbing and beginning to understand he will find a decent, loving girl in the future. Knowing and accepting love and support he had from family and friends has definitely been the reason for healing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s funny that I should come across this as I’m in a similar situation with someone who I love dearly and coincidentally has the same surname as yours. What do you do in situations where you see someone is absolutely not the right person, but they are adults and you cannot tell them what to do? You just have to let their journey continue and pray things will work out. You cannot live another person’s life for them even if it is your dearly loved child. They have to make their own mistakes – I was told – hard to receive, but true I guess. My heart goes out to you and your son. Thank you for sharing such an emotional time in your life – it cannot have been easy to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks! He is getting lots of support from family and friends. He is healing a tiny bit more everyday. Such a good thing this happened pre-wedding and we arent supporting him through a divorce. He will find the right person! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Wow… crazy when you know it won’t go well but, what do you do??? And yes, what do you say… It all sounds like out of a playbook but is still so important. I wish you all a quick “recovery” from this.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Powerful writing it reminds me of a piece of prose I read once. You probably know it already. Anyway here goes as your writing clearly portrays that you ARE listening..
    Listening Poem

    You are not listening to me when….

    You do not care about me
    You say you understand before you know me well enough
    You have an answer for my problem before I’ve finished telling you what my problem is.

    You cut me off before I’ve finished speaking
    You find me boring and don’t tell me
    You feel critical of my grammer, vocabulary or accent
    You are dying to tell me something
    You tell me about your experience making mine seem unimportant
    You are communicating with someone else in the room
    You refuse my thanks saying you you havn’t done anything.

    You ARE listening when…..

    You come quietly into my private world and alow me to be me
    You really try to understand me even when I am not making much sense
    You grasp my point of view even when it goes against your own sincere convictions
    You realise the time I have taken from you has left you a bit tired and a bit drained

    You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions, even though you think they may be wrong
    You don’t take my problem from me, but allow me to deat with it in my own way
    You hold back your desire to give good advice when you sense I am not ready for it
    You give me enough room to discover for myself what is going on

    You accept my gift of gratitude by saying how good it makes you feel to know that you’ve been helpful.

    Anon

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ohhh, that brought tears to my eyes. I agree he has a wonderful life ahead of him. The life he deserves, not the one he was forcing. Thank you for your wonderful support. Have a great weekend! 🙂 Alexis

    Like

  16. Oh Nancy, Im so sorry for your son. I hope they can co-parent your grand-daughter and everyone finds peace. Im spending the night at my sons house tonight. Thank You for your prayer for his comfort. Im sending one up for you, your son and your precious grand-daughter. Rest well tonight my friend as we take care of our boys hearts. ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  17. My heart aches for your son and his broken heart. This brought tears to my eyes. My son’s wife of ten years recently left him. They have a three-year-old daughter. You are right. Thank goodness she broke up with him before the wedding. God forbid they married and had children and then she left. Said a prayer asking for comfort.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. 😀 definitely for the best. After she comes and moves her things out tonight he can begin healing a bit more. Real love ahead for him. Thank you for your awesome support. You are so wonderful my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

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