They took my innocence at such a young age that I dreamed of climbing an apple tree and live like the squirrels.
They took my safety at such a young age that I wanted to live alone by a lake surrounded by cliffs so no one could find me, ever!
They took my choice to have my own interests at such a young age that I cringed when it came time for learning.
They took my esteem and infused it with shame, humiliation, and embarrassment at such a young age that I wanted to become and often felt invisible.
They took all those innate things away at such a young age that my ability to have trust, faith, security, self-esteem, hope or “person-ness” was stripped away.
Until it wasn’t!
Now “They” don’t have the power over me they used to have.
Yes, there are effects that resulted from all the trauma, but I can and do actively get help to work through them.
I don’t dream of living like a squirrel hidden high in a tree. Now I dream of living in a beautiful beach house on the ocean, in Tahiti, surrounded by family and close friends. Tahiti, ahh, Why not? It’s my dream.
I love learning. The more I learn the happier I am. In fact, I can be quite the trivia aficionado. Why not? It’s not so serious and there is nothing political about it.
I don’t venture down the shame spiral very often. And when I do, because a lot of us do, I reach out to supportive people in my life who get it and stop the shame cycle.
I have learned to trust (most of the time), I have a sense of my spiritual self, lots of hope and my person-ness is back. Never to be stripped away again.
“They” will never take my power or my truth away from me…ever again!
Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph