Change is Inevitable

Change is a fact of life. Our bodies change, as do our cognitive abilities. Our circumstances change, the weather changes and so do the seasons. We change our minds, our clothes and our cell phones. Sometimes we embrace change, but sometimes change can be frightening. The fear of the unknown and the anticipation of what might be can be paralyzing; the feeling of vulnerability can prevent us from moving forward.

But change is inevitable. There are unforeseen events that occur daily. Some may feel insignificant, or be a nuisance such as a flat tire, some are as life-altering as the diagnosis of cancer. Even then we have the ability to choose how we handle the challenges in our lives. We can use the momentum of change to keep growing as a person.

Since I was diagnosed with PTSD, I have had to change almost everything about my life. I had to learn how to cope with this debilitating illness, adjust to the dramatic change in my financial situation, deal with horrific and terrifying memories that were quickly filling in the blanks of my past, and accept that my ability to be self-sufficient in most aspects of my everyday life was severely limited.

Once my memories started coming fast and furiously, I discovered I was living my life unlived and I didn’t want that for myself anymore. I wanted to live my life with my eyes wide open, knowing my truth. I sought the help of professionals who helped me work through the pain of my past, taught me how to manage my PTSD symptoms, and helped me see that I did have a choice on how I wanted to live the rest of my life. I emerged from the process with a congruent past and now feel a sense of freedom because I understand why I think, feel and sometimes react to the world the way I do. Once I let myself begin to heal, even though it’s been baby steps along the way, I changed. It was scary, new unchartered territory, but I felt there was less of a scrim between the world and me.

One of the biggest changes that  happened the past eight years is self-compassion. I can easily and generously feel compassion for others. I don’t expect anything of them when they feel ill or out of sorts, except to take good care and be gentle with themselves. However, when I was faced with illness whether it was mental, emotional, spiritual or physical I had a lack of compassion for myself that ran so deep it was almost palpable. I used to give myself the old “buck up” speech. I would hear myself saying, “Lots of people have it much worse than you.” These were the tapes that played in my head. But now, I have learned to hit the pause button. That change has helped me extend the same degree of compassion for myself that I have for others, and I now recognize that I am a compassionate person. I own that quality in myself in a way I never could before.

I realize that nothing stays constant and there is always change.In the context of what I am writing about,  I believe there are two kinds of change. One is the inevitable events that occur on a daily basis. The other kind of change is mindful and purposeful. It takes courage to work through both. It is a courageous person who is willing to work through their past and knit it together with they are now. I no longer wanted my past to dictate my present day life. The effects of my trauma sometimes dictate my everyday life, but I can tease apart the difference. I made a conscious effort to understand the past, feel for  myself with the same kind of compassion I would have for others and integrate who I was with who I am now and who I am striving to become. I take full responsibility for life, and that brings a sense of freedom and empowerment.

I no longer wanted my past to dictate my present day life. The effects of my trauma sometimes dictate my everyday life, but I can tease apart the difference. I made a conscious effort to understand the past, feel for  myself with the same kind of compassion I would have for others and integrate who I was, with who I am now, and who I am striving to become. I take full responsibility for life, and that brings a sense of freedom and empowerment. With that freedom brings a calmness to understanding that all things change, it’s inevitable and that is part of living a very lived life.

 

 

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photo borrowed from pixabay

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28 thoughts on “Change is Inevitable

  1. atribeuntangled April 17, 2016 / 7:20 pm

    Thank You for reading and your sweet feedback.

    Like

  2. maryrensberry April 17, 2016 / 7:02 pm

    I can hear the waves lapping on the shore. Take heart…put your attention on what you truly desire. Thank you for your post and picture. Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. atribeuntangled April 5, 2016 / 8:03 pm

    Thank You for both your read and comment. Peace to you too! Alexis

    Like

  4. Tamara Kulish April 5, 2016 / 6:06 pm

    “Part of living a very lived life”… Yes! Yes! I believe that’s what it’s all about!

    Peace,
    Tamara

    Liked by 1 person

  5. atribeuntangled March 30, 2016 / 2:23 am

    Thank you very, very much for your response. It’s wonderful (and sad) to know that what we write about is relateable. Wonderful because we can form a supportive community, sad because we have been hurt so that its so relateable. I really appreciate your reading and commenting. Have a good evening. Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ginger Lewis March 30, 2016 / 1:58 am

    Well thought out post 🙂 I have found I had an up and down relationship with mental illness (PTSD, depression & anxiety which triggers OCD). Change is inevitable but it is tough at times. Some people, especially our loved ones, find this hard to cope with because they can’t physically see our pain. I always say “there are people worse off than me”, but you know what, we still have the right to claim the pain we are going through, whether that is physical or mental. We may look ok on the outside, but the inside eats at us to the point our outside is exhausted from keeping up the appearance of being ok. Keep doing what you are doing. And keep writing beautiful, thought provoking posts xx

    Like

  7. atribeuntangled March 27, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    Thank You for your comments Aleya. Yes, as you so beautifully said, “we do the best we can, day by day.” Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

  8. alohaleya March 27, 2016 / 9:37 pm

    Beautiful…thank you for sharing so courageously. I too struggle with the same old tapes playing and self-compassion. But we do the best we can, day by day. Aleya

    Liked by 1 person

  9. atribeuntangled March 27, 2016 / 1:42 pm

    Thank you, so much. You brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. Alexis.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. atribeuntangled March 26, 2016 / 3:00 pm

    Thank You so much Don. I really apprciate you reading and your always supportive words. Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Don Massenzio March 26, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    Very inspiring. I wish you many good thoughts as you deal with this.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. shellb39 March 26, 2016 / 1:44 pm

    Inspiring my day!

    Shelley

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  13. atribeuntangled March 26, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    Thank Yo so much. I sppreciate your support so much. It felt kind of vulnerable letting this one go out there. So glad we are all here for each other. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  14. alicewithptsd March 26, 2016 / 8:19 am

    Really beautiful. And so much hope is is in this piece. I love the idea of living a lived life. That sounds so good. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  15. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 10:29 pm

    Thank You. It is a journey, isnt it. And one that is long and never linear. I really appreciate your comment. Alexis

    Like

  16. PTSDandbeyond March 25, 2016 / 10:27 pm

    It is so hard to face the events from the past. I am so happy to see that you have compassion for yourself. This work is a journey!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 10:26 pm

    Thank You. It felt vulnerable to put out there, but glad I tisked it. I really appreciate your comment! Alexis

    Like

  18. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 10:24 pm

    Thank You so very much for your comment. I really appreciate it when I get feedback like that. Keeps me motivated. Have a great weekend. Alexis

    Like

  19. The Velvet Soapbox March 25, 2016 / 10:21 pm

    Change – the thing most humans have the most trouble coping with. Great post….

    Liked by 1 person

  20. oneta hayes March 25, 2016 / 10:19 pm

    You are doing well to accept reality and build and grow with truthfulness. Major on the abundance of good that you are and are able to offer others. Keep blogging. You’re a beacon for some who are following your path.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 6:26 pm

    Thank You so much for your feedback. This helps me stay motivated to keep writing. Your blog also inspires me. Im grateful to be part of this community.

    Like

  22. spearfruit March 25, 2016 / 5:39 pm

    What a powerful post – I am very glad you are here today and have gained this compassion for others as well as yourself. It sometimes is easy to have the past dictate who we are in the future, you are an example that does not need to be the case. Thanks and Happy Friday! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 3:56 pm

    Thank You so much for your feedback. I really appreciate this so much. Have a great weekend! Alexis

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Differentdanny March 25, 2016 / 3:52 pm

    Brilliant piece – very honest and yes; change is inevitable for everyone. X

    Liked by 1 person

  25. atribeuntangled March 25, 2016 / 3:22 pm

    Thank You! Your words are words I really needed to HEAR today. I’m so glad we are there to support each other.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. A Place Where Willows Grow March 25, 2016 / 3:20 pm

    Very lovely and inspiring. Words I really needed to hear today.

    Liked by 1 person

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