“They”

They took my innocence at such a young age that I dreamed of climbing an apple tree and live like the squirrels.

They took my safety at such a young age that I wanted to live alone by a lake surrounded by cliffs so no one could find me, ever!

They took my choice to have my own interests at such a young age that I cringed when it came time for learning.  

They took my esteem and infused it with shame, humiliation and embarrassment at such a young age that I wanted to become and often felt invisible.

They took all those innate things away at such a young age that my ability to have trust, faith, security, self-esteem, hope or “person-ness” was stripped away.

Until it wasn’t!

Now “They” don’t have the power over me they used to have.

Yes, there are effects that resulted from all the trauma, but I can and do actively get help to work through them. 

I don’t dream of living like a squirrel hidden high in a tree. Now I dream of living in a beautiful beach house on the ocean, in Tahiti, surrounded by family and close friends. Tahiti, ahh, Why not? It’s my dream.

I love learning. The more I learn the happier I am. In fact, I can be quite the trivia aficionado. Why not? It’s not so serious and there is nothing political about it.

I don’t venture down the shame spiral very often. And when I do, because a lot of us do, I reach out to supportive people in my life who get it and stop the shame cycle.

I have learned to trust (most of the time), I have a sense of my spiritual self, lots of hope and my person-ness is back. Never to be stripped away again.

 

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7 thoughts on ““They”

  1. atribeuntangled February 20, 2016 / 8:53 pm

    Thank You for your feedback. I really appreciate it.

    Like

  2. Nancy J February 20, 2016 / 8:24 pm

    I just saw this entry. Transparent, vulnerable, powerful, and full of hope. Healing is sometimes a long and painful process. I know. Thank you for this post

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Self.Truth.Beauty. February 8, 2016 / 9:23 pm

    I respect that process of putting something so vulnerable and brutal out there. I wrestle with it; I have several unpublished pieces. Thank you for your battle. A.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. atribeuntangled February 8, 2016 / 3:11 am

    Thank You! This was a tough one to put out there. Kind of a vulnerable feeling to even admit there were people who did those things. The “theys
    I appreciate your feedback and SO glad to hear the exhale. 😀
    Alexis

    Like

  5. Self.Truth.Beauty. February 8, 2016 / 1:53 am

    “They took my esteem and infused it with shame, humiliation and embarrassment at such a young age that I wanted to become and often felt invisible.” Ahhhh…. I exhaled when I read these powerful words. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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